hope and patience

November 14, 2009 at 9:54 am (Thoughts) (, , )

The last couple of days have been extremely difficult and emotional for me. It’s been nearly as bad as the first few days after the miscarriage. M has suggested a couple of times that maybe the extra emotions are coming because of hormones. Maybe I’m going to have my period soon and we will be able to start trying again. Last night and today I’ve had a bit of cramping, so I’m wondering if maybe he’s right. It’s so strange to be looking forward to my period because all my life it’s been a nuisance. But now it would mean that my body is healed from the loss, even if my heart is not.

One of the most difficult things for me has been the feeling of having to start all over again. It’s like those 8 or 9 weeks were a waste. Time lost. When we saw the doc after my miscarriage she said we could start trying again in December. December!!! It seemed like an eternity away. I am not known for my patience, and under these circumstances my desire for getting things started again now were overwhelming. I didn’t want to wait that long. I couldn’t wait that long.

I’ve read in a few places that your period will likely return in about 2-4 weeks after your miscarriage. For me it’s been just over 3 weeks now. The pregnancy hormone has to go back down to a low enough level for you to ovulate again before you have another period. I’m really hoping that it’s happened for me and that some time next week I’ll get my wish.

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