irrational and pissed

November 22, 2009 at 12:08 am (Emotions) (, , , , )

It’s not fair! I can’t handle this today. I’ve had it!

In the last 24 hours, I’ve heard of two more people who are pregnant. AGAIN. Both of them already have little girls and they are pregnant again. I’m pissed off. Maybe I’m no one to judge, but I can’t help it. One of them is an eternal drama queen – one of those people who always seems to have some sort of incredible story of this or that, someone’s deathly ill, their car got broken into again, they’re going to sue someone for something, blah blah blah. For the other one, no one is quite sure who the dad is of her daughter, and she’s pregnant again, and again with no boyfriend.

I eat well, I exercise, I don’t smoke, I have been taking folic acid every day for months, drink lots of water and carefully planned this pregnancy and I had a fucking miscarriage. I should have been 12 weeks by now.

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5 Comments

  1. K said,

    It isn’t fair…but just try to remember that everything happens for a reason. You may never know the reason but I believe it’s true. A good friend of mine told me a story about her mother. She and her husband wanted 3 children. They had 2 easily, but the 3rd pregnancy ended in miscarriage and she was devastated. They got pregnant a 4th time and had a healthy boy. That boy is now 26 years old and he’s an intelligent, great guy. If that 3rd pregnancy hadn’t ended in miscarriage, that boy wouldn’t exist b/c they only wanted 3 kids. My friends mother said she understands now why these things happen and in her case, she’s glad it did b/c she can’t imagine her life without her son. Sounds a little corny, but it’s so true. That will be you someday soon. When you hold your first baby, you will never be able to imagine life w/o him or her…and then things will become more clear. I have to believe that…otherwise I wouldn’t be able to get through these hard times.

  2. moon said,

    never tell a woman who’s just had a miscarriage:
    – “everything happens for a reason”
    – “your next baby will have an angel”
    – “it wasn’t compatible with life”
    – and all that crap…
    the truth is, we don’t care.
    we’re sad, pissed, jealous and full of rage.
    we don’t like feeling like this, we’d like to be happy and cheerfull for our firends, but we’re not!

    sweety, i am with you 100% (I had 2 miscarriages) and you should feel free to feel whatever you want.

  3. tasha said,

    Hi moon, thank you… Today is a much better day for me, but I just couldn’t handle it that day. It helps me immensely that I’ve been able to connect with others through this blog who have dealt with this, too.

  4. K said,

    Moon…I am the woman who just had a miscarriage…2 as a matter of fact so please don’t think I don’t get it. I was only trying to spin a different perspective on the anger. Tasha I apologize if I made your pain worse. That was certainly not my intention.

  5. tasha said,

    K – you certainly didn’t make me feel worse, don’t worry.

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