double checking

January 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm (pregnancy after miscarriage) (, , )

I can be a little neurotic at times. Even though I took that HPT on Christmas Day and got a positive result, it kind of drove me nuts that the line was faint. I know it still means it’s positive, but ever since I’ve sort of wanted to take another test anyway just to put my mind at ease. I have been experiencing some mild bouts of nausea and it’s been over a week since my period was due, but for some reason I just wanted to take another test. M chuckled and shook his head today when I told him I wanted to take another test. “Do what you gotta do.” So, of course, I went and bought another one.

I was debating on whether I should take it tomorrow morning or do it this afternoon. I didn’t want to chance having a weird result by not using the first pee of the day, but I also wanted us to be together when I checked. In reading and re-reading the instructions on the insert, I noticed it did say that it was not necessary to use the first pee of the day, that’s just when the pregnancy hormone would be most concentrated. Since your HCG hormone levels are supposed to double every couple of days, and it’s been over a week since my expected period, I decided it would be safe enough to test this afternoon.

It came out exactly backwards from last time. The pregnancy line was a solid, dark pink, and the control line was definitely there, but also fainter. I had to laugh. Of course, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to see – two bold lines, but the important one was unmistakeable. I’m definitely pregnant. It cost me $15 to double check, but it was worth it to satisfy my neurosis. Maybe I’m crazy, but I needed to see it.



  1. Linda said,

    Congratulations!!!! I just suffered a miscarriage and you just gave me hope!! Thank you.

  2. tasha said,

    Hi Linda, I’m glad that this helped you. A miscarriage is such a difficult thing to deal with. How long ago did you miscarry and how far along were you? I was 8 weeks when I lost the baby… I’m 6 weeks today so am hoping and praying that this time it will stick!

  3. Linda said,

    I miscarried at 5 weeks and 4 days (going by last period) on News Years Day. This would have been my 4th child and the miscarriage has been minimized because I have other children but having other children is one of the reasons why I grieve it so much!!! In addition to what did I do wrong and all of that. My husband and I share the vision of a large family at least 4 kids, this was really hard. Also, I have a cousin and a friend who both are pregnant right now. They smoke and drink and they have had many, many pregnancies in the past. So many that they actually picked which ones to keep and which ones to abort. They are keeping these. Abortion makes me sick, I would never and when I saw miscarriage called abortion I cried even harder. I am mad, sad and jealous and I am told I shouldn’t because I have 3 beautiful kids. Well was going to have 4. My kids cried at the lost of their sibling. We all talked about the new baby everyday and we only knew we were pregnant for 1 1/2 weeks. I knew for almost 3 weeks because I felt sick. but was already preparing we were all happy!! I have been crying reading your blog. Thank you really for sharing.

  4. tasha said,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Linda. I know how difficult it is to see other pregnant women right now and the anger and jealousy that go with it. I have always been against abortion, too, and that conviction has become even stronger now since I went through a miscarriage. I know in my heart that there is no doubt that there is already life so it’s unfathomable to me how anyone could do that on purpose when I wanted my baby so badly.
    I’m sorry to hear that your kids are so sad about your loss as well. It must be hard for them to understand. I am glad that it helps to read what I’ve gone through. Dealing with miscarriage is harder than I ever could have imagined. Writing about my feelings and experiences, and meeting other women like you and the other commenters on this blog has been a huge part of my healing process.

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