false alarm

January 25, 2010 at 7:20 pm (First Trimester, pregnancy after miscarriage) (, )

I watch for spotting all the time. I try not to torture myself every time I go to the bathroom, but it’s hard to not look. Sometimes I force myself just to throw the tissue away without checking it, but it’s always a conscious decision NOT to look. The automatic response is to check, just in case.

I had that one tiny spot about 3 weeks ago and both M and I were bracing ourselves, scared that it was happening again but hoping like mad that it wasn’t. Since then there had been absolutely nothing. Instead, I’ve been having positive signs, like swelling belly and breasts, slight nausea, fatigue, occasional headaches.

And then it happened. I went to the bathroom, wiped, and froze. Blood. Lots of it. Not a spot like a few weeks ago, or like the implantation bleeding I experienced before Christmas. Bright red blood covering the toilet paper. I shivered with fear and wiped again. Less blood, but it was still there…. something odd, though, it seemed to come from my rear end. I checked up front and there was absolutely nothing. I checked again with the same result.

Running from the bathroom, I called frantically from M to let him know what happened. After hearing where it came from and me reassuring him multiple times that there was nothing from the front, he suggested it was probably a hemmoroid. Turns out that hemmoroids during pregnancy are extremely common. I began to calm down, but the shock and fear from seeing all that blood still made my knees weak and caused me to have to collapse on the floor for a few minutes to collect myself.

Once I had verified again that there was no bleeding coming from where I was scared it was, I went online and did some research. About 50% of women get hemmoroids during pregnancy, but I had never heard of it before. Basically, it’s the same thing as getting varicose veins in your leg, except in this case, it’s your butt! I was surprised I had never come across this fact before. I guess it’s not the most pleasant thing to discuss, but it sure would have been nice to have been warned instead of finding out about it like this. Thank goodness it was just a false alarm.

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4 Comments

  1. L said,

    My heart stopped for a minute when I was reading this post! (Even though it was called “false alarm”, I had a moment of panic). So glad to hear that it wasn’t what you feared. I appreciate your sharing your concerns and fears like this. I know that when/if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I will feel the exact same way, and it’s very comforting.

    Only good thoughts coming your way!

  2. tasha said,

    Hi L, sorry to have scared you! That’s why I gave the post that title… Thankfully everything seems to be ok and there has been no other bleeding. My u/s is on Thursday, so I really hope that we get to see that little heartbeat. I know we will feel so much better after that. Thank you for all your good thoughts. I wish you the best, too.

  3. L said,

    Thank you! I will definitely be thinking of you tomorrow and will look forward to hearing about the u/s!

  4. Linda said,

    There’s alot about pregnancy they don’t tell you about and each pregnancy is different. Glad to hear everything is still ok.

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