inner circle

February 6, 2010 at 9:47 pm (First Trimester, Thoughts) (, )

The plan had been to wait until the end of the first trimester before we told anyone that I was pregnant. However, as the date of our first ultrasound approached, we decided that we would tell our families the weekend after. I approached this with some skepticism and worry, since last time we planned on telling my mom, I miscarried just days before. Funny how your mind plays tricks on you… it’s not as if it would cause a miscarriage again, but I couldn’t help but worry. It’s as if I’m always scared to tempt fate. Like at any time, the fragile little life inside of me could be lost because of a stupid decision I made to repeat something I’ve done in the past.

A lot of my worry faded as soon as I heard the technician say those wonderful words: “I see a heartbeat.”. Even better was the fact that they gave us a printout so we could take home the very first picture of our baby. That was last Thursday. I called my mom to ask if she wanted to meet us for sushi on Friday night. There is a sushi place right by her house that we used to go to all the time when we lived in that area, and I told her that I missed the way they made the food there and that we were going to head out that way. She agreed to meet us there at 7. I carefully packed the picture of the ultrasound in my purse, and we wrote in the card that we had planned on giving her way back on October 27th – my birthday, and the day we were going to tell her I was pregnant the first time. M put the card in his jacket pocket.

We went into her place first instead of meeting at the restaurant. After a bit of small talk at the front door, M said – “Oh, check this out, you’ll think it’s funny.” He pulled the card from his pocket and handed it to my mom. She had no idea what it was. She pulled the card out of the envelope and read it carefully as we watched her. A slow realization crept across her face as she read it silently again.

“Really????” she cried.

I hugged her as I said yes, and both of us teared up with joy. She said she had a funny feeling all week that I was pregnant (she often has little intuitions like this) and she was beaming. She’s been waiting to be a grandma for 7 years now, and now she’s finally getting her wish.

On Saturday, we told M’s mom, who was thrilled as well, of course. M is sure that she’s already planning on what she’s going to need to buy for baby’s first Christmas stocking. On Sunday, we told his dad, who surprised both of us with how excited he was. Apparently, it was their Christmas wish to become grandparents. I told them that we had gotten the positive pregnancy on Christmas Day. It was wonderful to be able to tell our family that we are expecting. It makes it feel more real, and at this point, I just want as many things as possible to add to that feeling.

The only difficult part was seeing the reaction of my sister in law. She and her husband have been trying now for a year, with no luck. I know it’s been hard because they really want to start a family. He let the cat out of the bag around Christmastime last year that they had “pulled the goalie” so to speak. They didn’t keep it quiet that they were starting to try, and so a lot of people always ask them if they’re pregnant yet. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be. Month after month with nothing. M wondered aloud to me whether it was harder for them to not be able to get pregnant or for us to have had to deal with a miscarriage. I don’t think I could say if there’s one that’s harder than the other. I’m sure each of us would argue for our situation because we’re the ones who went through it and all of the pain and frustration that goes along with it. She did congratulate us, of course, and I know she is happy for us, but I was worried about how she would react when we broke the news. We told them that only family knows at this point, and that we are not going to say anything to anyone else until the end of the month.

I am 10 weeks now, so I know that this is one of the big milestones. At this point, the baby goes from being classified as an embryo to being a fetus. More importantly, the risk of miscarriage goes way down to about 5%. The next big milestone is 13 weeks, of course, when it goes down even further to 1%. The date I’ve circled on my calendar is Feb 25, the day I can really start to breathe easier and know that it’s really going to happen for us this time. I’m feeling positive, but there’s always still that bit of fear in the back of my mind. I hope that all the love and good wishes from our inner circle will keep things going along well for the next three weeks.

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7 Comments

  1. 2LoveBirds said,

    I think it is great that you have the love and support of your inner circle around you now. If I get pregnant again, I think I’d handle it like you are doing. I love the story of how you told your Mom.

    We told my Mom about a week after we found out in June. I went and grabbed by pregnancy book and said I thought she’d be interested in a book I was reading. We were on the deck with my husband, having a BBQ. I showed her the book – the title was “I’m Pregnant” – enough said! She couldn’t believe it and then she was thrilled. We both cried.

    Now, after the miscarriage in July, we are still trying. I’m charting on FF and using a Clearblue Fertility Monitor. My cycles are crazy and I’m going to see a gyno on Tuesday for some help. I will definitely wait to tell my Mom until after we see a heartbeat on an u/s, if we can conceive again.

    All the best to you – sending lots of sticky baby dust your way!

  2. moon said,

    love and good wishes from the outer circle!!

  3. k said,

    just wanted to share a funny story. I got a text from my brother tonight. It simply said “alex called me tonight and told me you are getting fat!”. Alex is my 7 year old nephew…who I had dinner with last night. I would have never thought I would be happy about someone calling me fat…until now. LOL!! Can’t wait until you get “fat” too Tasha!! 🙂

    • Linda said,

      K- I haven’t seen you post, I was wondering how everything worked out for you?

  4. Linda said,

    So….. I wrote here before saying that I miscarried on new year’s day. I also wrote how I wanted to wait until my cycle to return to try again. I know that I have ovulated, it was really obvious since it seems I have been more in tuned with my body these days. I still wanted to wait, I just wasn’t ready. My husband knew this but we dud have sex and somehow that message didn’t stick with him because he ended up not using the method we usually use. Well God and him had a different plan. I had 4 postive pregnancy tests today, 15 days after conception. Unlike before all of the lines are strong color and showed up fast. Woo-hoo!!!! I am actually excited!!!!!

  5. tasha said,

    That’s wonderful, Linda!!!! Congratulations to you!!!!!

  6. Linda said,

    Thank you!!!! And congratulations to you!!!! You are helping me to be very hopeful!!!!

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