A couple of weeks ago, I cried in the morning because I felt like I wasn’t big enough yet. It’s funny how one day, I feel like my tummy is so big and heavy and round, and then the next day it doesn’t seem like it’s really showing much at all. M, as usual, supported me in his teasing way when I broke down that morning, assuring me that I was definitely starting to look like a fat chick. I’ve read many articles aimed at daddy-to-be’s, advising very strongly that they stay away from the word “fat”. But for me, I almost welcome it. First of all, because I know that’s just how M is, he always teases and I know he doesn’t mean it, and secondly because I’m very small and I don’t worry that I really do look fat.
We finally got our act together and found a battery charger for our camera, which was a much more difficult task that it should have been. So, on Thursday, the 19 week mark, we took our first belly pictures! One with my belly band on over my jeans and my sweater lifted up, and one with full on bare belly! These will be just for us, since I’m not bold enough to post them here on my blog for everyone to see. (One of my favorite pregnancy blogs does have a week by week belly picture section, though! It’s great to be able to compare as Kate is a few weeks ahead of me.)
There is no denying the belly bump now, though. I feel like I’m all lady lumps with my growing belly and boobs. I love feeling my tummy first thing in the morning when I wake up. It’s always already feeling swollen and rounded, whereas a few weeks ago, it felt flat when I was lying down in the morning and would gain fullness through the day with food and bloating. I remember that feeling my stomach in the morning used to be so sad when I first miscarried… that feeling is reversed now, with the joy of feeling that assuring roundness.
I’ve finally given up and bought a couple of pairs of pregnancy pants. I was sort of hoping to make it through like a colleague of mine, who stuck with leggings and dresses throughout. She said she didn’t want to buy maternity pants because she was scared that she would always fit into them afterwards 🙂 I did my best, but I just can’t do my regular jeans anymore unless I wear them completely unbuttoned and unzipped with a belly band to hold them up. This is OK if I’m wearing longer shirts or sweaters, but I missed my easy jeans and t-shirt days. So yesterday, I took an hour and a half and tried on what seemed like every pair of jeans and casual pants in the store and found two that I loved. I gotta say – they rock!! So comfortable! It’s nice to be able to wear pants with a pair of sneaks and a body-hugging t-shirt again.
I love showing off my belly bump. It’s getting more obvious now that it’s a pregnant belly and not just a fat chick. Either way, I don’t care, because I know that it’s my baby growing bigger and stronger inside of me.