so it begins

January 12, 2010 at 7:45 pm (First Trimester, Morning Sickness, pregnancy after miscarriage) (, )

You know that saying, careful what you wish for? I think this applies to my yearning for morning sickness.

When I miscarried, I was never sick. I was never really tired, never nauseated, never bloated. This time, I have been waiting and hoping to get sick as a sign that things are different this  time. I wanted to feel like hell just to know that my baby was doing better. I’ve been reading up on when morning sickness begins, and even asked my doctor about it when I went in last week, but the consensus has been that while morning sickness tends to start around the six week mark, it varies widely between all pregnancies. Some women are sick mere days after conception, and other women have little to no morning sickness at all. However, in all of the forums that I’ve visited where women are discussing pregnancy after miscarriage, all of us are on the same page. We can’t wait to start throwing up. We yearn for it. We’re jealous of women that are going through it.

It’s only actually happened to me once, and even then, it was only saliva, but for the past several days I have been nauseated every single day, multiple times per day. It seems to be worst in the morning and later at night. Unfortunately for me, my office has a glass wall and I’ve always kept my door open, so I have to keep any daytime retching as discrete as possible. Right now, it hasn’t been too much of a challenge, but if my morning sickness gets worse, I’m not sure how well I will be able to hide it.

Over the weekend, I was also extremely tired and low on energy. Even a trip out to get breakfast and do grocery shopping knocked me out on Sunday. I slept for two hours! I wasn’t sure how I would be able to work a full day, but I’ve managed. It’s definitely challenging, especially since I’ve cut out coffee as part of my pregnancy diet. I try to make it through by nibbling on fruit, which coincidentally, also helps with the nausea.

Lastly – the boobs. Oh, The Ladies have been tender and sore… I have had to start wearing a sports bra to bed so I can sleep better. And even still, I wake up a few times through the night because of strange and vivid dreams or because I have to pee.

You know what, though, it’s all worth it.

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